Reflections on "Othering"

As my first year (and likely only year) as a Special Education teacher comes to an end, I am entering my reflective phase.

Through out the year, I have reflected on my day to day experience to better my teaching. Now, I am reflecting more on my year as a whole and I have noticed some things that leave me feeling a little unsettled.

To provide some background, my first class was an inclusion model, 2nd grade general education classroom in Vermont. I had 17(ish) 2nd graders and I would say one fourth to one third of them had IEPs. There were a variety of disabilities and needs in this classroom and I had two students with one-to-one aides. I also had a classroom aide. The school had a strong behavior support system that included a classroom students would temporarily go to when they needed to and staff that aided with behavior issues in the entire school.

In my current position, I am in a self-contained special education classroom in California. At the peek of the year I had 9 students. I have a variety of disabilities and three classroom aides. None of my students have a one-to-one aide. We have no additional behavior support system outside of being sent to the principal's office.

Both districts are fairly small (compared to big city districts) and both have a transient population. Both schools practiced PBIS. In Vermont they use Responsive Classroom.

Out of these two situations, it would seem like my current one would be more ideal, less students per adult. However, I feel that the self-contained model is less than ideal for a number of reasons.

In my current position, I am noticing something that I will call "othering". My students are labeled as different, as separate. They are treated differently by their peers. Other students know that they have a disability because they are in my class. Teachers have told me "oh I have a student for you" because they have a student who is low or a slow learner.

In my first classroom, I had everyone together. My whole class participated in morning meeting and they were ALL included, even those with what would be considered a severe disability. They were ALL part of my general education classroom and school community. For those with visible disabilities, students would go out of their way to make sure they felt accepted and knew they had friends. For those without visible disabilities, they were just seen as they are; they were just seen as kids.

In my current situation, it was not by design or malice that this "othering" has occurred. But we are separate and so we are viewed as separate. As a teacher, I am isolated on my own little island. My students are on the island with me. We have a nice island and among ourselves we belong. However, in the scope of the larger school community not everyone is accepting.

When it came time for other students to be GATE (gifted and talented) tested, some were concerned that they would have to go to a "special class like, ______."

One day when I was out at recess, a student brought me a flower and said "Thank you for taking care of our foreign exchange students." I replied "I didn't know we had any foreign exchange students." The little girl said, "Oh, I mean kids like ______. Kids with disabilities..... *made face* anyway just have a good day." Then she ran off.

Others just ignore some of my students when they want to play or tell them to go away.

Others will get aggressive towards my students and then blame them when they can no longer control their bodies and hit them back; getting my student in trouble for fun.

I have seen my students cry or start to show signs of depression because they are seen as different from their peers.

I know not all of the students mean anything bad with their "othering," like the little girl who gave me flowers. However, this culture is not positive for the students.

General education students will be more understanding and special education students will feel more accepted if we change the culture to be one where all students spend more time together. When we change the culture from one of exclusion to one of inclusion, everyone benefits.

Students who model the behaviors of others would benefit from getting more time to see what positive models look like. If they mimic behaviors of others, shouldn't they get the chance to see the behaviors we want them to mimic?

I know there are many reasons why my students are in a separate situation, from funding to the way the different states structure things. I know that with the way things are, my ideal won't happen because that would require that almost all of my students have a one-to-one aide.

I know there are no perfect solutions or answers.

But after this year, I am even more of a believer that all students would benefit from a base or homeroom in a general education classroom. In order to make that happen, more staff might be required but it will be more positive for all students. 

I know that student who need specialized academic instruction will sometimes need to be provided that instruction in a separate setting. Personally, I don't think separate for all instruction is the best way to do it. When students are separate this much, they forget or never learn how to react and interact with their non-disabled peers. Too much focus has been put on academics and many students also need their social and emotional needs met.

To feel included, to be included; that is a beautiful thing. That is what many of my current students are missing and what my previous students had.

Overall, my district is great and actually does do a lot to include my students. They are invited to all the school events and grade level field trips. I know not all other local districts go that far. 

I want to be clear that I feel this is more of a statewide cultural issue than a local one. Talking to teachers from other schools and districts, I know my feelings are not isolated ones.

If they can do what is best by students in a small state like Vermont, why can't we do it in a large state like California? 

 Kids are kids no matter what state they are in. We need to be promoting positivity and modeling inclusion if we want our country to have those values when our students are older. 

Food for Thought

A friend from college (also a teacher) posted this picture yesterday. It spoke to me. This really is the saying of the year. This is what I remind myself of everyday.

I've said before that this is the most challenging year I have had so far. A lot of it is students, some of it is adults and some of it is paperwork.

At the end of the day, I still love teaching. I come back everyday for a reason and it's not the paycheck. Kids need to feel like school is a safe place, they need to feel cared for. I care, that's why I come back everyday.

I work with some of the most caring adults in the world. We all have our days, but seeing how much the aides and other staff members care is a great feeling. When you are part of a strong team it makes a difference. 

When you can be calm when a child is not makes a world of difference; I know it is hard to do sometimes. After this year, I know how much of a difference being cool and collected can make. 

Patience and practice are nessasities.  

We can not join the choas. 

When the Stars Align

Sometimes the stars align and it is a great day. 

Today was one of those days. It was the first day that everyone was there since Thanksgiving! I was feeling anxious last night, worrying about all of the different ways the day could turn out. I am glad I didn't let that worry get the best of me, because having a positive attitude to start the day makes a big difference.

A day like today would be great in any class. However, I don't have any class. I'm teaching a special education class with a lot of students who struggle with emotional regulation and behaviors. Today, some of my most challenging students had a PERFECT day! Today was they day we have been dreaming about since August.

My student who had been gone, came back and fell right back into their routines.  This is extremely impressive considering they had  been away so many days and don't usually adapt to change well. All the hard work we did to teach these routines was not for nothing. This student remembered what they needed to do and they did it.

While we were working on math, he accidentally ripped his  box of crayons when he was opening it.  I offered to help him tape it, while I did this he said "Ms. Martel, your amazing teacher." 

This made my heart melt.  They have never said anything like this before. I wanted to cry.

This student struggles with speaking, they usually don't use complete sentences. I was not only touched by what they said, but I was impressed with how they said it.

Today was a win. A victory.

Even if tomorrow is crazy, I know how good it can be and I'm going to keep working towards days like today.

Happy Thursday! 

Also, my student made this cute snowman... I think they should try claymation! 

The "J-Factor"

A few weeks ago, I wrote about wanting to be a Monday teacher and then wrote about attitude. On those same lines, I am thinking about the J-Factor. J stands for Joy. Teach Like a Champion talks about it, Danny Brassell talked about it in Las Vegas, another teacher/blogger known as Elementary Shenanigans posted a picture about it (which I borrowed) and now in my induction program, we are looking at it again. I feel like Joy is coming at me from every direction.

This year, there have been many days where finding joy has been difficult, I won't pretend that it's been easy. One of the reasons I started this blog was because I was struggling and needed an outlet. However, I don't want to dwell on negativity or get burnt out because of it.

I love being a teacher, I find joy in what I do. It is one of the most rewarding things I have ever done. I know it is important, I know it makes a difference. I am changing the world, one student at a time. 

This week (and for the remainder of the year) I am going to work on focusing more on Joy. To start, here are five things I find joy in.

I find Joy in:

1) "ah-ha" moments. I love seeing a student who has been struggling finally find a strategy that works for them. I love seeing the moment where they finally "get it."

2) Students knowing what to do when I am not there. If my class is good for a sub, I know I have done a good job teaching them routines and expectations. Getting positive notes from subs gives me joy.

3) Getting a smile, a hug, a high-five. Just like adults, students show they care in different ways. I find joy in all of them. Even students who are difficult will show you they notice what you do for them, even if it's one smile, one time. 

4) Positive feedback from parents. There will always be one parent that is difficult or that the principal warned you about. I work twice as hard to win them over. Once they know I am on their child's team, that I want what is best for them too they usually come around and can be a strong support. I have a number of parent emails I have kept to look at on a rainy day. When parents notice what you do for their children, it feels good.

5) Play. Making time to play with students; games, recess, gonoodle, ect. All these bring me joy. They also bring my students Joy too. There is joy in having fun together. It builds the classroom community and can make learning more exciting for everyone. 

Attitude makes a difference

Children pick up on what adults around them are feeling. Even if a child can't articulate it, they show you with their body language and their behavior.

The holidays can be a crazy and stressful time for many people. This includes our students. Some of them spend time with a different parent or adult guardian. Some are from low income families who are happy to have a meal and lucky to get any presents. Children can get anxiety around the holidays too.

I my goal is to have a positive attitude. My goal is to be Compassionate, Caring and Consistent.

I am an adult. I am a model. I am a professional.

Children benefit the most when adults remember that. Attitude is everything and as adults in the classroom, we set the tone.

We all need to be Compassionate. We don't always know why things are happening or why someone feels a certain way.

We need to be Caring. Our students deserve to feel cared for; unconditionally.

We need to be Consistent. Children won't trust an adult who is up and down. They need to trust that the adults who work with them are reliable. They need to see that you have it together and are present. Even if there is a tornado inside, you can't let it show. They have enough going on. Adult problems are not their problems and they shouldn't know about them. We need to be consistent, they need to know they can count on us to support them.

When we remember these three things, the classroom climate is positive and everyone feels better.

TGIF

Most teachers will agree that this is a challenging time of year to teach. There are many holidays and a lot of excitement . There are also a lot of vacations, concerts, celebrations and other events that interrupt typical routines. In Special Education, I am learning just how challenging these changes can be.

This week, almost all the staff and half my students were sick.

This means there was a lot of missed school and change in routine for many of my students (and myself). Today I came back after being out sick for two days. Two of my three aids were out sick today. Many of my students missed atleast one day this week as well.

Some students struggle more with change than others. One of my students spit in and slapped my face today. Another kicked a ball at me. The others, gave me a hug and were happy to have me back.

There have also been a lot of events lately that add some anxiety and fear.  I teach elementary school, but my kids still hear about what is happening in the world. At school, we need to make sure we practice what we would do in emergency situations (this happens regularly, but after an event some students and adults are more sensitive). I must say, even though it messed up some of our schedule, I'm proud of my kids. They handled our drill really well today and transitioned back into their schedules after. 

I'm still recovering, I'm not 100% on my game; I have a stash of tissues, a sore throat and a mild headache. I'm tired and I will probably take a nap after I finish this post. I am thankful it's Friday, because my body needs rest. Mentally I feel good (despite being slapped in the face), but physically I'm tired. Being sick and being present and positive in the classroom is really difficult. It takes a lot of work.

Time for some ZzZz's

Sometimes you need to cry

Today was a rough day. It wasn't a behavior day, most of  my students were great. But, it was rough and I broke down. Teachers care about their students. That isn't new.

When you have a student who has a medical condition, you care more. They amaze you with how brave they are. They frighten you when something is wrong and you think about them and their families constantly. I have one of these students this year. A sweet student who  is more brave than I could ever be. Today was a rough day. This student had a rough day at school and then  had to be taken to the hospital. It scared me. I cried and then cried again. I tried to be strong with my other students, but they knew I was worried. One of them cried too.

You get attached to your students, you care about them. It hurts you when they aren't okay.  Sometimes you just need to cry, because there isn't anything else left to do. There isn't anything else you can do.